One of many goals of therapists is to provide our clients with the support that they need at the pace our clients can go. On occasion, therapists can find themselves moving at a speed that may be faster than their client is able to process. It’s important that clients feel empowered to communicate their discomfort in the therapeutic space.

We must first recognize some of the signs that may suggest that your therapist is moving too fast in their therapeutic approach.

• You feel overwhelmed by “homework” assignments. Therapists tend to request that their clients implement coping skills or complete tasks between sessions. While the intentionality of these requests may be to alleviate symptoms of, say, depression or anxiety, the assignment may create more of the said symptoms you’re experiencing. Initially in the therapeutic process, you may need to focus on celebrating simplistic tasks such as eating a full meal rather than making a draft schedule for the next week.
• You don’t feel fully understood or heard. Your therapist should ask clarifying questions so that you can elaborate on your lived experiences for their own understanding. You should not feel like your therapist is making assumptions or throwing solutions at you that may not work for your circumstances. Your therapist must initially focus on getting to know who you are and the challenges you are facing from your perspective so that they can have a clinical understanding of the goals you want to focus on achieving.
• You feel pressured to agree with a diagnosis or treatment approach. Your therapist should involve you in the diagnostic process by implementing psychoeducation in sessions. Psychoeducation increases your understanding of your symptoms in the context of a diagnosis. It’s a collaborative process where you two agree on the diagnosis based on your symptoms and the diagnostic criteria.
• You feel pushed rather than guided. Your therapist may request that you discuss experiences you’re not ready to visit in session. They may make statements that seem encouraging but may challenge your boundaries based on where you are in your therapeutic journey.
• You may not feel as though the therapeutic alliance is not strong enough to discuss your traumatic experiences. Your therapist may have miscalculated the amount of rapport you’ve built. Their assumption has led them to believe you are comfortable with discussing the heavier topics about your past than you are currently willing to explore. You think they may not understand your thoughts or feelings associated with your lived experiences. Their lack of self disclosure about their education, therapeutic specialties and experience, and/or demonstration of cultural competence leads you to believe they may not have the tools to truly help.

We hear it all the time, but communication is key. If you feel the pace in your therapy journey is moving too fast, bring it up! You can say something like:

• “I appreciate your suggestions, but I’m feeling overwhelmed by these homework assignments.”
• “I’m not sure we’re on the same page. I want to revisit my therapy goals.”
• “I’m not sure I fully understand this concept/goal. Can we spend more time on this?”
• “I feel like I need to focus more on [emotional need or past event] before we move on to [action-oriented goal or coping strategy].”

Remember, therapy is a journey, and the client sets the pace. A good therapist will welcome their clients feedback and adjust their approach to meet the you where you are. Want to know more about me and my style of therapy. Schedule a free consultation with me HERE. 

Written By: Sharon Michel, LMSW