The image features vertical stripes in vibrant shades of orange and yellow, creating a lively and energetic pattern.The image features vertical stripes in vibrant shades of orange and yellow, creating a lively and energetic pattern.

Notes to the Strong Friend

Straight talk, real tools, and fresh insights. Here, we share honest reflections, practical strategies, and new perspectives to support your growth, challenge old narratives, and help you reconnect with yourself.
Silhouette of a Black professional woman working on a laptop at night, city skyline visible through the office window
When Your Success Becomes Your Therapist’s Blind Spot Why so many high-achieving people feel stuck in therapy, and the overlooked reason it might not be about them at all.
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A woman sits in a dimly lit room, resting her head in her hand, expressing a contemplative or troubled emotion.
Running Circles Around the Therapist: How the “Strong Friend” Uses Deflection to Survive Therapy If you are running circles around your therapist, you aren’t actually winning. You are participating in a polite dance that keeps you isolated. You leave the session having maintained complete control, and disguised as the “perfect client,” you are still stuck holding the exact same weight alone.
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The image features diverse groups of people: a woman working on a laptop, a smiling man, and a group of women in hijabs sharing a joyful moment together outdoors.
We are not a Monolith: Why the Diaspora Matters in Black Mental Health The word “Black” is often treated as a monolith in mainstream discourse, which is both sociologically lazy and clinically reductive. At Eye In Me, LLC, we believe that to “Elevate Black Minds,” we must first accurately see the individual. Read why the Black diaspora is never a monolith, how a
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A green ribbon symbolizes Mental Health Awareness Month, accompanied by the text "Mental Health Awareness Month" in bold green letters against a white background.
Influencers vs. Practitioners: Where Are You Getting Your Mental Health Content…it’s all Marketing Anyway. May is the “Super Bowl” of mental health content. Your feed is about to become a battleground of green ribbons, “Self-Care Sunday” infographics, and 15-second reels promising to “heal your nervous system” in three easy steps. As informed professionals, you already know that information is not the same as integration.
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When Rest Feel Like Risk Black professionals often tie their self-worth to constant labor; a survival pattern that makes rest feel risky. Rest is not a reward earned after exhaustion, but an intentional, daily practice essential for long-term well-being and resistance against systemic burnout.
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Spasenoski, N. Basketball player holding a ball against black background. Adobe Stock
Strength Without Support: Why Successful Black Men Often Struggle Alone Even at the highest levels of money, status, and recognition, you can still feel completely lonely. You might be functioning, producing, and leading on the outside, but internally, you are managing a constant pressure.1 Black men are often socialized to prioritize strength and independence—traits that support achievement but contribute to
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A man sits thoughtfully in a gray armchair, holding a notebook, with a potted plant and a second armchair nearby, in a well-lit, brick-walled room.
Why You Might Be Lying to Your Therapist (And Why That’s Actually Okay) For many Black queer professionals, “curating the truth” is a survival skill. If you find yourself lying to your therapist, it isn’t a character flaw—it is a result of navigating a world where transparency has historically been a liability. In this post, I discuss why I view these “lies” as
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The image features a handwritten question in a speech bubble that asks, "Where's my health insurance?!" on a white background.
Why Your Therapist Isn’t “In-Network”: A Note on Integrity and Care Have you ever wondered why so many specialized, high-level clinicians are checking “No” on those in-network insurance boxes? It isn’t about being “exclusive” or “unaffordable.” It’s about a fundamental refusal to let a multi-billion dollar middleman sit in the room during your most vulnerable moments.
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Is Your Therapist Moving Too Fast? How to Know and What to Do Is your therapist moving too fast? Learn how to recognize the signs and what to do, including communication strategies to ensure your therapeutic journey is at your pace. Empower yourself to advocate for your needs in therapy and build a strong, collaborative alliance with your therapist.
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Two men are in a kitchen, one holding a cup and looking amused, while the other smiles and interacts, with dishes and a drying rack nearby.
More Than Identity: Understanding the Nuances in Queer Mental Health Therapy Discover the crucial difference between a Queer therapist and a therapist specializing in queer mental health, and why this distinction is vital for finding the right support.
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A close-up portrait of a man with a serious expression, featuring a tear tracing down his cheek against a dark background.
Beyond Physical Death: Understanding the Many Faces of Grief When we hear the word “grief,” our minds often go straight to the loss of a loved one through death. However, grief is far more expansive and underpins nearly every area of mental health.
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A young woman with curly hair covers her face with her hands, expressing distress, while two others converse in the background, portraying a tense emotional situation.
When a Boundary Feels Like Rejection: Navigating the Sting of Unspoken Shifts Boundaries receive significant attention today — social media is saturated with posts about “protecting your peace” or “learning to say no”.
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Healing Doesn’t Always Make You Nicer… and it shouldn’t There’s a popular myth in wellness and therapy spaces: that healing turns you into a gentler, more tolerant, endlessly gracious version of yourself.
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A man in a blue sweater engages in conversation, gesturing expressively, while a woman in a suit observes and takes notes in the background.
Two Lies and a Hard Truth About Boundaries When it comes to mental health, there are often more lies than truths circulating. The truth is rarely polished or easy to swallow.
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A woman with natural hair sits thoughtfully beside a stylish marble-patterned handbag, wearing a plaid blazer and a light top in a modern, bright setting.
When Hope Hurts: The Unseen Consequences of Trying to Change Others Discover the hidden dangers of hope in toxic relationships. Dr. Shatiea explores how misplaced optimism can prolong suffering and hinder personal growth. Learn to recognize when it’s time to let go and prioritize self-healing over futile attempts to change others.
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The image features vertical stripes in vibrant shades of orange and yellow, creating a lively and energetic pattern.The image features vertical stripes in vibrant shades of orange and yellow, creating a lively and energetic pattern.